The Janus Mirror

by Emanuel and the Fear

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1.
I watch the days that bring December and the mirror coldly saying That all that I was the night before is gone. Like the ground outside that the snow has taken away, All that it was the night before has changed. But the sun is in the sky, the blue that I've familiarized my mind with, As long as I survive, I hope it remains that way. It's about that time again, When I give to you my eyes and let you in and then You may think you know me well But you cannot know someone who does not know themself. And it's about about that time again, For you to take all of the ideas you're holding in, (And) Put ‘em somewhere you can see ‘em So to watch them move, not just you But everything. It's about that time again, When the age that you have known begins to twist and spin And right when you thought you had it figured out Even the sun will one day be changing. Yeah everything it changes, From the oceans waves To the pavement. We are changing changing.
2.
Samuel 05:05
I keep some other man's ideas up in my head. Samuel seemed to live his life up in a dream until his mother came to take him off for good, up all the stairs where all the older man would go to read and let their faces grow until they'd greyed. Because she knew what he was, he was made for the life she gave him while other children played he was on his way back where he belonged. Back in his office he watches as the clock ticks and steps outside to smoke a cigarette. As his phone just keeps talking and he lets himself ignore it, rubs his neck and just keeps walking down the street Because he knows that it's always the same things complained, it's he wasn't listening to me, and then he talks so much he goes and does the same thing. I keep some other man's ideas up in my head.
3.
Grey Eyes 03:51
She with a sigh that, open wide, held the blue of the sky in the grey of her eyes, stared like a child at all the birds as they perfectly turned like a page in the paper. And I was the white and yellow fire that she held in her hand and kept at her side. Away so the winds old wandering fingers would see us, one thing, and not come between us. She with her hand, that holding mine, held me closer and I watched her beautifully smile.
4.
Wooble 07:01
I have wanted all my life someone to know me And I will open up my heart and let you in And I will take you by the hand and let you show me That I can one day maybe fall in love again. I’m gonna let you in. And she sends to me a picture Of herself standing in the park by her apartment. And I understand her She has commanded me to drop my things and meet her. So, I go slowly So not to lose her but to show her she don’t own me. And when I get there I say, “hello” she says, “I love you”, I say, “I...oh... I need to go slowly”. And she says, “then I need to be going”. And I’m beside myself with longing Like an addict who’s withdrawing, Free for a few weeks then back on it. And here I am again my song is Love, when will I see you again? Love, I swear this time I can handle it. When will I see you? When will I?
5.
Something like an hour after arriving Jojo turned to us and swore and then rolled his gaping eyeballs swiftly back down to the floor that's kaleidoscopic turning rippled right out of the door. It was all within that moment when the three of us had gone And following the swirling down from Baker to The Highway, Jason shouted, "Look at Verdi staring Hermes in the eyes!" But I was already off walking through the entrance of the garden... thinking of Alice, about Janus, about How many of the things I've had have been washed away. Like a dream escapes me, I was there completely Now it's nothing more than warm and wrinkled fabric. When the two had finally found me I was kneeling by a flower with an arm deep in its industry I soon pulled from the soil and from my elbow to my fingers, I was painted black as oil that flickered neon pictures like the foothills of a fire. And from the lights flashing formed two heads atop a woman's frame that turned to watch our frozen faces as they echoed one another saying, -She moves, she uses, she opens up her big black eyes and takes it all in. -She smiles, amusing, she opens up her silver hand and takes it, all of it. -She dreams, she falls in, she dances like a candle flame around the wind. She moves, she uses, takes me with her big black eyes to where she's been. She moves, she uses, she opens up her big black eyes and takes it all Then she disappears and I Fall crashing through a humming neon TV screen and stroll past, dusting the glass off, and calmly ask them if they enjoyed the movie. Jason gleamed and ran off leaping headfirst out into the evening. And Jojo was there, following without fear, And they took off like they were flying.
6.
Black Eyes 04:06
The world outside is night. The world outside is night. The sky is black as eyes. The sky is black as eyes.
7.
My Oh My 05:40
If I hold you inside, keep you there in my mind, will you still be here when I come around? Or will you fly like the wind, like a dream in the morning or like the tracks in the dirt on the ground when there's no one left but me, I am alone and I can't remember anything, all I know is I was here and then i was…Oh... My oh my how it goes, how the endless winds they blow. And the trees with their leaves wave hello to all the people driving down the road. And if I let myself sit back and stay, my eyes will widen and I'll be swept away… Oh, but then the sky falls down and smacks me on my head and I'm awoken from the dream I've lose myself in again. Well I know that I was here and then i was…Oh... Where do you go when you're out there on your own is it really so much better to leave me alone in the echo of a question that you answer with an empty stare? And though I know that the world we're in today can be so over stimulating. Can you control where you are and where you go or are you so…Oh... If I hold you inside, keep you there in my mind, will you still be here when I come around?
8.
All We All 05:08
There is too much, there is too much, Everything it is madness And maybe it'll all make sense But from where I am, I can't believe that And anyone who can't see that, Well I don't really need them. Oh but I know, that everything changes From the oceans waves to the pavement. All we all we stand we fall We all go together from the womb to the grave. And one led wrong can end it all Just because they want everything to stay where it lays. But picture the past, we were earth we were hands And a man was a man not the things that he has. Now we are fastened to silicone plastic And thoughts of detaching are a kind of disaster. Watch people talking and move their attention On down with their eyes that take fire with LED lights in their Handful of organized pictures and things to commit you And connect you and project you And oh there is too much, there is too much, Everything it is madness And maybe it'll all make sense But from where I am, I can't believe that And anyone who can't see that Well I don't really need them. Oh but I know, that everything changes From the oceans waves to the pavement. And slowly lifting my cellular eyes, I say, I don't think I can't handle it When I, happily buried alive, am exposed by the tides Pulling back who I am. All we all we stand we fall We all go together from the womb to the grave. And one led wrong can end it all Just because they want everything to stay where it lays. All we all we stand we fall We all go together from the womb to the grave.

about

(c) 2012 Haldern Pop Records. Published by Million Publishing

credits

released September 28, 2012

Emanuel and the Fear is:

Emanuel Ayvas: Electric/Acoustic Guitars, Vocals, Piano, Synth, Floor Tom

Nic Cowles: Flute, Alto Flute, Synths

Gil Goldin: Bass, Upright Bass

Jeff Gretz: Drums, Percussion

Liz Hanley: Violin, Vocals

Brian Sanders: Cello

Additional Musicians:
Dallin Applebaum: additional vocals on Black Eyes
John Carluccio: additional toms on The Janus Mirror
Carolin Pook - additional violin on all tracks

Produced by Emanuel Ayvas, Nic Cowles, and Jeff Gretz

Recorded and mixed by Brendan Tobin at Seaside Lounge and Ice Cream (Brooklyn, NY)

Mastered by Josh Bonati at Bonati Mastering (Brooklyn, NY)

Cover Art by Les Barbire

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Emanuel and the Fear Brooklyn, New York

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