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  • Listen - CD
    Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    19 song CD from 2010 on Paper Garden Records. Packaged in a gatefold wallet.

    Also includes immediate download of 19-track album in your choice of 320k mp3, FLAC, or just about any other format you could possibly desire.

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1.
(Instrumental)
2.
Guatemala 03:38
Rising up from the ashes of a schoolboy, old enough to be working in the coal mines Looking up as he watches as his childhood floats away. To children selling food in Guatemala, el parece sucio al americano but the gringos concerned, only if the boy has washed his hands.  Don't forget about the people who are dying in Somolia, skies of fire raining over Persia Seems as if the wealthy have forgotten we're all the same. As they dye their hair drinking six dollar coffee, healthy and alive but fucking drugged up, coughing, underneath, the puppets swing, the strings attached to hands of thieves. Wake up you people, the world it is changing, step out of your bubble of  comfortable ignorance. The church it has taught us, to fear one another, to hate what is different, yea to silence and smother, The terror of difference, in all of those thoughts faces colors. But I can only just imagine, if the truth became the fashion Then one at a time each mind once frozen in greed could lead the way to change the way we live.
3.
Sleep in your homes all alone, is it what you wanted To dream that you've found control of yourself and everyone else, cause you know that you can have all that you want just as long as you give them a piece of it. No don't go thinking that you own all that stuff that you hold so dear to you Cause they can take it if they want it and you'll be left with nothing but to listen to the world, yea it's all there in between we are only what they want us to be. And open up your eyes, take a look at what you see we are only what they want us to be Those were pearls that were her eyes with diamond fingers, emerald thighs, and golden calves that reach so high her silk blonde hair was in the sky. With people bowing in the streets all out there working underneath to power up electric feet that stood each swallowing the river there that ran between her legs and onward up into her head. For years they'd built their world around her till the river dried up dead and then she spit out what was left of it splashing out into the streets the mighty wave that they'd created crashing dancing over everything and out into the world until there's nothing left that's free and we are only what they wants us to be. And open up your eyes, take a look at what you see, we are only what they want us to be. Well it might be me, maybe this is meant to be in a world where nothing's determined anyway. But I like Albert can't see how something as simple as you and me can just decide what they're provided with is all there is to be. But what if there's no such thing as a good thing or a bad thing? Yea and what if everything is the same as everything? Then who's to care when there's nobody there as we all join together now to to see? That we are only what they want us to be. We are only what they want us to be. We are only what they want us to be. We are only what they want us to be.
4.
Jimme takes his time as he washes his eyes and then makes his bed up and then heads for the outside. And it doesn't make a difference every once and a while if you've got nothing to do but sit around and think about how nothing he could do could ever feel good But he knows you gotta get a job if you're looking to move on Like everybody else but it's the same thing Always the same dream keeping him from moving, saying I don't want to do nothin but be in a rock band I don't want to get a job, I don't wanto be a man I don't want to do nothin but be in a rock band I don't want to do nothing at all I don't want to do nothing at all But then the bills pour in and he fakes it like to swim, but he still don't go anywhere. Until he gets too weak, they got him swimming in his sleep And then he needs grab something to get some air.  And so he pulls a job down at the landfill, and he don't mind the working outside looking out on the turnpike. But the days fly by and the fire in his side tells him he'll never be right until the day that he dies, saying I don't want to do nothin but be in a rock band I don't want to get a job, I don't wanto be a man I don't want to do nothin but be in a rock band I don't want to do nothing at all I don't want to do nothing at all All his words fall down through the cracks in between, and spread like sunlight down on the world underneath. But up here they fall to nowhere they're just a feeling he needs, as he drives through the weeds, and through the swamps and through the trees, As he's talking like he's holding a gun in his hand, but there aint nobody there, it's just him waving his hands. And then he drives on to his guy at the van to get his cup of coffee with three sugars for two dollars. And back to work another day another hour, he gets older by the minute but there's nobody around him who can understand, looking at a young man feeling like no one ever notices, They live the same day over and over No, I don't want to do nothin but be in a rock band I don't want to get a job, I don't wanto be a man I don't want to do nothin but be in a rock band I don't want to do nothing at all I don't want to do nothing at all
5.
Duckies 00:16
(Instrumental)
6.
Free Life 03:52
I know you'd go outside just to see some sunlight or you'd maybe take an air plane or a train ride to the other side of the country just to feel like you're alive again back like how it used to be Cause I know some loose lived and free minds out there who know better than to waste time living the straight life or to straight dive off the mountainside like all the others It's a free life if you live it why not give it a try You boy with your free style you know I wish I could be so loose and do whatever I want and it's the same complaint I keep on hearing over and over from everybody and my only reply's it's a free life if you live it why not give it a try yea it's a free life if you live it why not give it a try it's a free life if you live it why not give it a try
7.
Dear Friend 04:18
Walking along, singing a tune for all the people passing by me. Do do do do do do do do do do do Somebody stares, smiles like a bear, tells me how lovely it's been lately. And then much to my surprise, I was smiling, In the most peculiar way. Feeling happy.  I'm alive and well today. Something I never thought I'd say. For the moment I'll believe, that the people in the scenes reading trendy magazines are the future I've been dreaming of A generation of those who don't seek comfort but the good of all things. Don't waiste your anger on your dads, or getting beat up after class. Cause that's life don't brand it bad, or you'll end up just like everyone who's taught you to hate yourself, and your life. Well i'll be changing lives.  Everyday for the rest of my life. But the first one needs to be mine. Yea the first to change is your own mind. Walking along, singing a tune for all the people passing by me. Do do do do do do do do do do do Somebody stares, smiles like a bear, tells me how lovely it's been lately. And then much to my surprise, I was smiling, In the most peculiar way. Feeling happy.  I'm alive and well today. Something I never thought I'd say.
8.
Yo, Jamin 00:31
(Instrumental)
9.
I'm too young understand what love can do to someone. From the day I met you I've been crazy, I can't seem to sleep Cause I want to be everywhere that you go I want to love you all the way. But it seems that fate wants me to wait around for no reason, but to make me worry, like to show the hungry food just to take it away from them so that they can know what they could have had and never trust a thing again.  Do you want to run away to a lake of Michigan We'll build a boat with our own bare hands. And set off for another sand and start a family We'll raise our kids far away from the madness of Material overstimulation or I was thinking, of a way we could dodge the bullet of the modern mindset, and buy an 18 wheel truck with a trailer to ride the highway to work for a few years. Just you and me and the road and the sun and the back of our cab, we can all be a family. A few years of talking and smiling and feeling alive. We can camp at the roadside, or sleep in our cab and get away from the nonsense.  Oh I know it sounds crazy but I think that might be. Well the very thing that love is to me. Cause we'll take all of the money that we've saved from the road and move to the country or a place by the ocean and leave all the things that almost got us to quit this behind. 
10.
Balcony 06:44
Out on the balcony she went for my hand and kissed me when no one was looking. And there in a daydream, I failed to admit but I felt you and wanted you next to me. So she stormed through the doorway, and sat on the stairs and I left you there, alone. And you cried, cause you loved him. Thought you'd die, all alone on the stairs. But where was I, when you needed me there? What the hell am I doing, and what the hell do you care. There's no reason for living, when you've got nobody there. So just pour me another. Yea put that drink in my hand. Cause I've destroyed the only love I've ever had. Take me or leave me, the love I've avoided, is the only thing, that I've come to live for. So hold me adore what we've missed to explore the things around us and the world in between. Oh well I need you so call me, don't leave me here guessing cause I don't want to lose you, like I did before. Was it time that you needed, to find you're mind there an ocean away well I was blind. Now you're calling to say, that there's no one to blame. What the hell am I doing, and what the hell do you care. There's no reason for living, when you've got nobody there. So no more running in circles, no no more running away. Cause love it always seems a little bit harder when you're over there. 
11.
I want to be happy, but all my smiling memories are you and your eyes. And they make me wanto get up and run, like the farther I'm away from you the better off I'll be. Where I can erase you and feel like I used to. Oh where did that happy little boy with the afro go? They say he gave this girl too much, that when she left he forgot how to love. You think that you know me. Don't act like you do. You wanto be happy. I'm saying you could. You think that you know me. Don't act like it's you who's in control when it's you who's losing it. Whatever you do, don't make the same mistake don't throw your heart away without it you can only lose. Whatever you do, don't ruin everything if you wanto be happy. I just had this nightmare, I was out of control they had me tied up with my face against the ground and there was nothing I could do. And in that moment, well my mind it turned to you and to a time when I was happy like my thoughts could somehow change what was the truth.  And lift me from my shackles, back to you in my bed lying awake just talking. But when my mind breaks through and when I turn to reach for you to tell you all about what happened there and nobody's next to me and I rub my eyes like i'm surprised by what I know to be the truth. Whatever you do, don't make the same mistake don't throw your heart away without it you can only lose. Whatever you do, don't ruin everything if you wanto be happy.
12.
13.
The Raimin 05:13
Which one of us chase will the monsters away and bring back the things that we wanted and say that it'll all come back someday? When the mountains will have crumbled to the streets. And the people and the houses will be buried underneath, back to how it used to be. Everything can be simple and everyone can be free And which one of us will take the righteous away and paint the blood on their doorway to keep the darkness at bay so they'll be safely locked inside of their homes when it all comes down from on high they'll be lifted up into the sky. And the righteous will say, I'll go on praying for the day of all days. We'll be saved from the rain, the thunder and fire that'll wipe us away. But in the meantime they'll hide as they wish for the end preaching bring on my rapture and kill all of my friends like destruction is the answer, cause that's what god said. To employ against progress, by turning their heads. While the rest of us, are trying to get through it. So go ahead and pack your things, light your candles and close yourselves in. And I'll be out here watching, With everyone else. 
14.
Same Way 03:32
She owns my heart but I won't know, until i'm gone like an idea, something so real it gets you laughing and just leaves you standing there alone saying the work'll change and soon I'll say and through the smile she says she'll be here but you know that it aint that easy yea you know you can't do what you're saying no it will all remain and always be the same way. So he wakes up at six in the morning brushes his teeth and leaves to drive himself to san francisco thinking how he can't handle all these feelings that she brings and how it's worse still when you're lonely and can't feel anything but how you can't seem to be happy unless you're making some poor girl feel the same but I don't want to be that way so if you've gotta leave me babe I won't say anything Now that the winter's almost over maybe I'll go home back to brooklyn to see some friends there in the springtime and call you up to say i'm home let me come and bring you flowers, cook you dinner and tell you stories but she'll say no can't you see what you're doing how can you make me have to go through that again just cause you're here now don't mean that you've changed because you always will remain and always will be the same way.
15.
Simple Eyes 04:03
Male: Simple eyes, no not mine, but imagine the difference of a child's life of nothing but dreaming. All the while, I sit hoping to feel that again after all I was once there before. So he smiles at the girls plucks one out like a flower thinking maybe I've found something here. But the night goes away and the girl aforementioned she is pensive and defensive, asking questions how many girls have you had in that loft up there Female: Now I don't mean to step across the line but at the same time, I need to know if you'll be on my side and do you know what it means for me to sleep up in your bed each time hoping this is something but it seems to you instead to be no different from a meal you eat but this one isn't dead, my lonely friend I can't keep doing this, I'm sorry but this has to be the end. Male: How can you think so hard and have so many rules when life is nothing but a puzzle board a picture that we move within, Listen We're just the pieces of the world to push together boys and girls and you know that if you fit then you can stick together Female: But if you don't and try to push to hard You just might bend the edge apart and you'll never fit with anyone Duet: Be damaged forever, never to be the same as your freedom turns to loneliness, saying it wasn't supposed to be this way.
16.
Tonight, I'm gonna write you a song and it'll be about the pain, that you make me feel. And then from there, I'm gonna find me a girl and I'll play it for her, so she likes me. Just like, how I won you over, 3 years ago. Just like, every girl I've ever known. Soft touches, smiling and then a few years pass by Blinded by happiness. And then the end, and we split without speaking. There off with ourselves, to be alone again. And I'll go running off to the girl I knew before you.  But she'll be married with kids and a cute little house and a life, that you wish you had Well life, it's so unfair It seems like it only wants to work out for the people who don't care and love, it's got me vexed I swear it off like i don't need it but I can't stop running after it. Where to now lover, you shouldn't trust me I think i've warned you ever since the day we started this thing This fear of emptiness we're desperately reaching out for love so much that we'd settle for something or someone who can't be what we want them to and Can't feel, how you need them to can't you see that you're only with me because you don't Want to feel lonely Well life, it's so unfair It seems like it only wants to work out for the people who don't care and love, it's got me vexed I swear it off like i don't need it but I can't stop running after it.
17.
The Finale 05:47
Someone save me from going under, I'm too deep in my head. Because I can't tell what's real from what's me thinking thoughts instead, I'll dream like dreaming is no different from a conversation with the real live you to reply from the outside of my head. But I know better now than to make that mistake, no, I won't do that again, Ohh no no no Act like you do when there's nobody there and when there's people around you watch them stare and stare and stare. But why are we so wrapped up in this futile fight between the world as it there lies and how we decide that it should be, When science tells us that what surrounds us will never be, what you end up seeing.  You know we're trapped up in our heads there all alone No you can't touch a thing there's too much space between it all. Why not act like everyone else and pretend that you've got control... Because you know they'll never know.
18.
(Instrumental)
19.
Razzmatazz 03:49
It's a beehive!

credits

released March 9, 2010

Produced by Jamin Gilbert for Ishlab Music and Emanuel Ayvas.
Recorded and edited by Jamin Gilbert and Emanuel Ayvas at Ishlab Music (Brooklyn, NY).

Assistant Engineers – Joseph Rivas and Mark Sanders

Executive Produced by Jamin Gilbert

Mixed by Patrick Dillett at Kampo Stuios

Mix Assistants: Jonathan Altschuler, Yuki Takahanshi, Emanuel Ayvas and Jamin Gilbert

Mastered by Doug Van Sloun at Focus Mastering

Photographs by Heidi Greenwood

Artwork by Les Barbire

Thanks to Jerel Fonzetti, Jen Wanamaker, Les Barbire, Matt Casella, Chris Caliendo, Melissa Ayvas, Catherine Cheng, Danny Richards, All of our family and friends and all of our fans

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Emanuel and the Fear Brooklyn, New York

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